A MAUNDY THURSDAY FAMILY TRADITION

Thankfully, many congregations are rediscovering the ancient practice of corporately remembering Christ’s gift of the Eucharist and his powerful enactment of love in the washing of his disciple’s feet. In the Western church this day has come to be known as Maundy Thursday. It is always the Thursday before Good Friday- “the night on which he was betrayed.”

Like the day which follows it, tonight is a time of “bright sadness.” The solemnity of tomorrow’s cruciform horrors begins tonight. For after his arrest and before his crucifixion, our Lord will spend the fullness of this evening and early morning hours being ridiculed, beaten, spat upon and mocked. He will not sleep or rest until Saturday, when death holds him in its chilly hands… and all for you and me.

For those whose congregations have either chosen not to take the time to mark these events or- hopefully, not considered the need - there’s no reason remembrance can’t be offered among your family. Even among those who will attend Maundy Thursday services this evening, it is a wonderful opportunity to shape your family- especially the children- in a “gospelward” direction. Children love play, and what is ritual but play directed toward a serious end.

I thought I’d share with you what our family plans to do this evening. If you find it helpful, perhaps you can incorporate some of it into your own family’s traditions.

Unlike the Western church, our Orthodox brothers and sisters begin Lent on a Sunday. They call it Forgiveness Sunday, and I envy them for it. We will incorporate some of their tradition into tonight’s family celebration. Each of us will bow before the other and ask to be forgiven for any and all wrongs and offences, which they have suffered from us. Husband against wife. Mother against daughter. Brother against sister; along with any friends who may be with us. We’ll look into each others eyes and beg forgiveness, and in many cases the request will be for very specific- if unspoken- sins.

For those who are interested, here is how we will actually “play.”

1. To get ready we’ll set up chairs across from our sofa- with enough room between chairs and sofa to allow a person to comfortably move around. There are eight of us, so we’ll need four chairs. We could use more, but the younger one's can sit on the floor. You’ll see what I mean if you give it a try. The first time I actually made paper markers to represent each member of the family and went through the rotation in minature, so that I would know how many stations were needed. We'll also use four bowls and at least four towels. If we wanted everyone to use their own towel, then of course we’d need eight.

2. We’ll gather together barefooted and I’ll remind them of the significance of the day.

3. One of us will read John 13:1-9, 12-15 and I’ll remind them of the need to follow our Lord’s example of humility, love and forgiveness- especially towards those with whom we live.

4. I’ll take my place at one edge of the sofa with the family forming a line out from me.

5. Sandi (my wife) will take a seat in the first chair (directly across from me). I’ll get on my knees before her, pour water over her bare feet and dry them with a towel. All the kids will be looking on.

6. Putting the towel aside, I’ll place both hands before me and touch my head to the ground between them.

7. Looking up I’ll say “Sister, please forgive me for all the offences and wrongs I have done to you”

8. She’ll reach down take me by the hands and help me to my feet. Looking me in the eyes, she’ll say “I forgive you.” and we’ll hug.

9. I’ll then sit down and she will do the same to me.

10. After we have asked and received forgiveness from each other she will take her seat beside me, and our eldest daughter will sit in the seat across from me.

11. We will repeat the process and she will then move to the seat across from where her mother is sitting.

12. Our next eldest will take the seat across from me. She and I will forgive each other while my eldest and her mother are doing the same.

13. When we are through, our eldest will sit beside my wife and her sister will move into the chair across from my wife.

14. The rotation will continue until everyone has asked and received the forgiveness of everyone else.

15. We will kneel and ask God to help us live according to our Savior’s example through the rest of the year.

The church’s calendar is a wonderful way to enter into the life of Christ. I hope you find a way to concretely make his life visible among and to your family. I'd love to hear the details of what that looks like.

The peace of the Lord be with you on this Holy Thursday.