
My oldest daughter is graduating from high school this year. It’s unbelievable.
I don’t mean that in an “Oh, my gosh!” sort of way. I mean literally- it’s Unbelievable!
If I were being asked in a court of law-under oath- if its possible that enough time has past to change my darling little toddler into a beautiful and independent young woman, I’d say “No, way.”
But I’d be wrong. There she is.
….And my second born is graduating next year. Unbelievable!
One of the memories of Rachael that seem as recent as yesterday is of her strapped into her car seat and attentively watching the scenery go by- “Pacie,” of course, in hand. She’s always been fascinated with God’s world.
Invariably, especially in the summer, we’d hear an excited “Rat House!” We’d look over our shoulder to find her pointing out the window at a building in the early stages of construction. I don’t know where she got that- why she associated a framed house with rats. Maybe all the crisscrossing timbers reminded her of a huge nest. I’m not sure. I do know that I miss hearing her little voice pointing out the wonder of something uniquely new.
After a few weeks the paint would go on, the roof would be finished and we’d drive by without comment- just another beautiful and warm American dwelling.
The memory makes me think...about buildings and foundations, Daddy’s and their children and about what each of these journeys have to say to the liturgical path we travel each year.
Bright Week is coming to an end. The Feasts that lie ahead of me- Ascension Thursday and Whitsunday- each assume the foundation of Easter morning, but my attention will be directed to their wonderful lessons…and then I’ll move on to live in the house that Christ built.
It will be easy to forget the foundations. Thought I’d take one more look before the walls go up.
It seems odd, somehow, that we can cancel out forty days of heavy preparation with one week of bright revelry. It must be a very heavy concentration of brightness indeed to counterbalance all the darkness that Lent brings forward. And of course it is. All the days that cling indivisibly to Pascha are God’s judgment enacted…really enacted.
God’s Judgment. The phrase itself sounds heavy.
Even now as I’m writing this, it sounds a bit, well.... wrong.
Easter about judgment?
Judgment bright?
I see the judgment in Good Friday, but Easter… ?
It seems I want to play judgment against mercy- as if God’s verdict was by nature grim. What does that say about my concept of God? Judgment is really about choosing. When I say I don’t trust someone’s judgment, I mean that I’m unsure about the choices they make. Why would I think that all of God’s choices are naturally forbidding?
Some of my problem is in wanting to equate mercy with only a positive response and judgment with all the negative ones. But surely saying “No” to some things is the more merciful route. Think of cancer, loneliness or pain.
When God’s verdict comes down it means brightness to some options and darkness to others- all at the same time. When choosing between competing options, a “Yes” to one always implies a “No” to the other, and vise versa. You can’t choose, I mean really choose, one thing without rejecting another. Every spoken “Yes” is one half of a larger compound word:
Yes-No. Every spoken “No” says “Yes” at the same time- if only silently.
I think I’ve contrasted the wrong things. Mercy isn’t opposed to Judgment. Rather Mercy is opposed to my death. God's judgment is mercy. His mercy is judgmental. There can be no Easter morning without Good Friday. One drags the other with it…unless our God equivocates. Unless he’s not quite sure what he wants…unless he refuses to really choose.
But thankfully our God does know what he’s about. He knows what and who he's for, and that someone is you and me, fully alive. This means, is another way of saying really, that he is against all that is opposed to us…all that drains the glory from the life we were meant to have and all that leaves us pale, limp and hurting.
The cross made audible His rejection of choices in opposition to His covenant love. Mercifully he didn’t scream His rejection- his judgment- at each individual who mocked the glory he had intended for them, but rather He spoke clearly to the King who represented those people. Ever loving, He played that part himself and muffled the necessary rejection through his own body.
On Easter morning our God laughed out a great “Yes!” to the life of our beloved King. The boringly familiar counterfeits of true power and glory- money, raw strength and selfish pleasure- each made a play for supremacy.
Both religious and political manifestations made the claim, “This is the way to godlikeness. This is the way of true humanity.” But in response God left each of those advocates in the sweltering misery of their lives… and eventual deaths, but to Him who took upon himself the form of a servant and was obedient unto death, even the death of the cross, he gave eternal life. “That’s it. That’s what I’m for,” God vigorously declared in Christ's public vindication on Easter morning.
The Cross and Resurrection form one declaration- one judgment. Neither was possible without the other for each formed- each was, really- the other viewed from beneath. On Good Friday, our God spoke the "Yes”, which Easter so obviously declares. On Easter he whispered “No!” to the scandalous sin of Good Friday.
Judgment and choice, all of it. Mercy, all of it, too….because all of it for us.How different from the capricious vision of god that I often struggle with- a god who arbitrarily makes rules so that he can torture me eternally if and when I break one of them…and all for his own personal pleasure.
Good Friday and Easter tell of another God altogether- one who is by nature a Father. And His judgment- his choice- is for me. He wants only what any Father wants for his child. And who can stand in his way?
He hates all that would harm me, and has a heart so soft that he can’t bear for me to witness his dispatching of my enemies. He covers my eyes and does the deed, takes my face in his hands and says “No one will ever harm you.”
That’s the gospel. That’s our God. That’s where we must start to build his house.
Now, what sort of walls would best go up on such a foundation...