DESIRE 101- Part 9

Of the Living Dead and Sailing Ships
Copyright © 2006


Christians are confused. And we confuse those around us. Many think that a Christian is someone who doesn’t do wrong things- at least not the biggies. Even more, a Christian doesn’t hang around with those who do. I know you see how crazy that is. Christians are those who are called to serve and love others- especially those who are the most unlovely. Christians aren’t those who “don’t”. They are those who “do”.

It’s those don’ts that I want you to notice. I have a problem with them. They define God’s people negatively. I’m against that.

Humanity was created to glorify God; and as St Irenaeus said, “the glory of God is man fully alive.” We are called to truly and fully live. Not a bad assignment, huh. Christ is the new Adam and we are the new humanity. Our goal is toward something. We as a people are “for”. This is very important. Now I know that every time we say “yes” to one thing, we must say “no” to another. But… we say “no” in order to say “yes”.

Many Christians are really good at saying no. Nothing but “no”. No, no, no. The point of emptying a cup, however, is making room for something else- something you’d rather have.

In all of the unattractive “no- saying” your likely to hear that our bodies are the temple of the Holy Spirit and we shouldn’t sin against it. It’s hard to argue with that. How does one sin against the body? Well, apparently there’s many ways- all of them identified by a combination of pleasure and uselessness. Nothing good comes from them- except enjoyment. Specifically, don’t smoke, drink, chew, or…whatever trendy prohibition our culture and infant science happen to be enchanted with at the time. But whatever the current taboo, the point is often missed. The apostle’s point in the passage quoted is that there is only one sin against the body.[i] Only one. Besides the fact that the passage is being abused, I want you to notice what that one sin is. It is a sin of sexuality. Why is this sin against ourselves? What could this mean?

Again, think back to the story of Adam and Eve. We often read God’s prohibition against eating the fruit of the Tree of Knowledge of Good and Evil as a test with a punishment. We think he said “If you eat of this tree, then I’ll kill you for it.” But much like the innocent tobacco leaf above, we’ve read that into the story. Take a look at it yourself. God simply said that if you eat, you’ll surely die. Do you see the difference? He, like any good parent, warned his children of the dangers that existed in their front yard. Don’t play in the road- you’ll get hit by a car. Only two on the trampoline- someone will get hurt. Don’t eat those berries- they are poisonous.

Human beings were made to share in the life of God. We were his masterpieces. We pulsated with his indescribable glory. We were his precious and powerful self portraits. This is what it means to be a man and woman. Like a broken vase or a rusty car frame sitting on concrete blocks in a front yard, those who understand can see what we once were; but… we aren’t that anymore. We are broken, bent and falling apart. Worse than potently evil, we are sad, pathetic and helpless.

Adam and Eve were blindingly clear likenesses of God. And yet the serpent taunted them with the possibility of being like God. What was he offering? What was the temptation? For all the glory that God had graciously shared with these two, there was something that didn’t- that couldn’t- belong to them. They were images. They were creatures. They were dependent. They were not God. The sin of the fruit was in wanting to be wise- in wanting to simply be- apart from God. There is horrible guilt in this. Thanklessness is the soil that sprouted the first sin. Everything that belonged to him and that a creature could possibly bear, God gave to his children. But it wasn’t enough. They wanted what they could not possibly have. They wanted to exist apart from God.

No one has to tell you how ugly ungratefulness can be. It just feels ugly. Our first parents got what they deserved- got what they asked for, really. There’s no question- the resulting death was just. Agreed. But do you see that instead of being an arbitrary penalty a judgmental God dropped on them, it was simply the outworking of the way things are?

God made us from nothing. He pulled mankind out of the lifeless dust and breathed his own life into him. We were made to share in the life of God. We live and exist through that life. Separated from him, we return to all that’s left- dirt. Separation from God leads to death. That’s just the way it is.

When we sin, when we fall short of what it means to be truly human, we begin to fall apart. In fact, sin is falling short. It is falling apart. Stop and think about how much sense that makes. When people sin, they begin to decompose. Rotting flesh has its own smell. There is nothing like it. It’s immediately recognizable. No one had to tell you to stay away from it. No one had to explain that corrupt tissue is disgusting. Another image: we would never mistake a bubbling mass of death for the living being. Nor would we prefer it. We would never swap a healthy muscular limb for a leprous, corrupt and weakened one. Not unless our mind itself had become corrupted to the point of madness.

Purity is the opposite of corruption. Now here’s a word that’s gotten a lot of bad press. It’s right up there with Godliness and Holiness. Makes you want to yawn just reading it, doesn’t it? If so, then you’ve been cheated again. To live a pure life is to live a life with nothing in it that oughtn’t to be there. It is to be fully and truly human. It is to be wildly and strongly alive. Purity is a strong grip, a deep and appreciative appetite, an afternoon of joyful play. If you look at it like this, then all sin is impurity. All sin is something anti-human that is present in a human. Sin is ‘the-way-its-not-supposed-to-be.’ That is true; but usually when we speak of purity we are speaking about sexuality. Our language has taken that particular route for a reason. It has to do with the nature of sexual sin.

If sin is acting in a less than truly human way, if men and women are most fully alive when they act as their creator does, and if God has existed throughout eternity as a communion of love so that God is love, then sin is simply means acting in an unloving way. This is exactly what Scripture tells us. Love fulfills the law and the prophets. Another great friend of God, St. Augustine, once said that a Christian should love and then do whatever he wants. This makes great sense when it comes to just about every sin. If you love your neighbor, you won’t talk bad about him or hit him on the head. If you love your neighbor you won’t cheat her or take advantage of her. It makes sense when it comes to certain sexual sins as well. You won’t cheat on someone whose interest you’ve put above your own. You won’t sleep with your neighbor’s spouse- not if you truly love them.

But what’s wrong with giving great pleasure to another person? How can giving pleasure to someone who wants you to do it ever be unloving?

We’ve talked about lying with our bodies in regards to commitment. That is incredibly important. There are hidden issues of love there, for sure. And they are more than enough. But there is even more going on, and I think it’s this: most other sin has to do directly with another, but issues of purity have to do with me. While sexual sins are often acts of violence against another, even if disguised as love, they are always a sin against ourselves. When we allow ourselves to be controlled by our desires we cease being human and become indistinguishable from the creatures we were created to shepherd. I hope you understand by now that the desires are wonderful and good. But to be controlled by them is to be a slave. It is to be a beast. It is to begin to die as a person. This is why purity has a special reference to sexuality. It is about us, ourselves. It is the foundation of all other loving behavior.

This wonderful godlike gift of being able to control the awesome power of Aphrodite is called chastity. Like “purity,” many people think “chastity” simply means not doing certain things. It’s an absence- a negative. It’s a bore. But that’s exactly wrong. Chastity doesn’t mean not being hungry. It means not spoiling the feast you can’t wait to sit down to. Chastity is power and action. Unlike impurity, which is doing nothing so that you are swept along by the force of Aphrodite’s river or devoured by her when she appears as the lion in your path, Chastity requires great effort so that you can go where you want to go- no matter what the river says- and tame the lion so that she walks at your side. The world is filled with half drowned people who sputter for breath before being dragged back under the water’s surface. There are more than a few stinking corpses along the river’s edge, as well. They think they know how to live. They call their way of life “wild.” No. They are sad, pathetic, and helpless. There are many more that are afraid to venture out into the street for fear of being eaten. How much more gloriously alive is the person able to swim confidently, or better yet, to walk on water. What would you think of the man who walked up with a massive fawning lion on a leash? Boring or truly wild?

Aphrodite and Eros are powerful indeed. Does this mean that they should have the final say? Do we allow any other great power to run wherever it decides? Wouldn’t the result be devastating? Why doesn’t everyone see this? It’s because they are slaves. They aren’t free. They haven’t the power to choose and they mistake the pitiful consequences for life as it was meant to be. They know no other way. They are like the prodigal son if he had decided to stay in the pig sty. They’ve married and had children. Their descendents have created a whole culture of politics, art and entertainment in the pig pen…and they’ve forgotten what it’s like to live in the Father’s house.

Purity and Chastity are about the kind of people we are. Often we think of evil in terms of consequences. We believe something is wrong because it hurts another. This can be a helpful way of looking at it. But the problem with purity is that it requires of us action when it’s not clear who would be harmed. I believe a better way of thinking about evil is in seeing that it doesn’t exist in itself. God made everything good. He said so, Himself. And everything comes from God. Well, what of evil? Where did it come form? The answer is that Evil isn’t something. Rather it’s nothing. It’s the absence of something. Evil occurs when something is missing that ought to be there. Evil can’t exist without a good to corrupt. Evil is a parasite. It is a corruption. Think of some examples and you’ll see what I mean. No one chooses pure evil. Everyone chooses a good. That is all there is to choose. Evil happens when we choose that good apart from the reality God has made. Remember, we reject the gift that was given and grasp at one that was not.

Many times we are tempted to do things because we believe no one will get hurt. Have you ever stolen something really small- something no one could possibly miss- maybe a peanut out of the giant peanut display at the grocery store? Why is taking a single peanut wrong? How is it unloving?

While it is true that the owner will never miss it, it isn’t true that no one is harmed. You have been. You’ve stolen. You’ve marred the glorious god-bearing image that is you. You’ve added corruption by taking away what ought to be there- integrity and self-control. You’ve chipped away and weakened. If viewed from the perspective of consequences to another, it’s no big deal. But if you are concerned about being who you ought to be, it’s huge.

Maybe you think that’s something of an exaggeration. Huge?

We tend to think of ourselves as finished products. Usually we see ourselves as basically good people. That’s where we start. We are good people who occasionally lie, for example. But the truth is that we are not finished. We form ourselves everyday. Every act and thought is done in the name of heaven or hell. Each one forms us in the culture of one of those two cities. We live as things are done in this Present Age or we live as things are done in the Age to Come. St. Paul calls this living according to the flesh (this fallen world) or according to the Spirit (the even more physical world to come) And in so living, we become what we do. It’s impossible to steal and not become a thief. It’s impossible to lie and not become a liar. When we use others we become a predator.

What we are determines how we will treat others. How we treat others will mold what we are. See the circle dance? Ultimately purity is an issue of love towards our selves… and our neighbors. C.S. Lewis tells of a fleet of ships sailing for a far off land. In order to reach the far port three things must happen. All must agree on the destination. Each must be careful to avoid collision with the others, and each ship must keep itself seaworthy. If one falls behind, the others must slow their pace. If a rudder cable is allowed to rot and snap then a collision becomes likely.

In this parable the first condition answers to idolatry. Human beings must agree on what it is we want to be. Is our destination the likeness of the Triune God or one of our fellow creatures? We must love and serve each other- not run each other down. This fulfils the law and the prophets. Purity is the point of the third. To grow slack in the preservation of our ship is to endanger all the rest. St. Paul makes the same point in the first chapter of his letter to the Romans. See if you find the anti-journey of idolatry, impurity, and violence.
Keeping a ship strong and beautiful in the midst of the sea is a full time endeavor. It never just happens. It’s always the result of purpose and effort. A decision has to be made and the work put in.

The same is true of our humanity.

Every person is born with an almost limitless number of potentials- things that we may accomplish or become. Half of these are glorious and beautiful. The others are ugly and pitiful. We can never point to ourselves or another person and say “this is all that you or I am.” As long as we are living, we are still becoming. Does that make sense? We are never finished.

Saying “yes” to one potential always means saying “no” to another. Putting in the time to be a world class tennis player probably won’t allow you the time to become a virtuoso violinist. You can’t spend most of your time at the office and be involved in every aspect of your children’s growth. You can’t act courageously and also be a victim of fear.

Each choice opens up new possibilities and closes the door to others. Every decision is a chisel mark in the stone that will be your masterpiece. Work carefully and on purpose. It will take your whole life story to define who you are- to show the finished product.

So, purity is a glorious goal, but what does it look like? Does it mean deadness to the fiery attraction of the other? Does it mean denying the almost intoxicating power of physical beauty and sexual attractiveness? Does it consist in treating Aphrodite as the fly that must be swatted away upon the first buzzing note of her arrival? Is purity blindness and numbness? Is that how we know we’ve attained the goal- when we are immune to the wondrous bodies of those we live among?

It might be that a commitment to chastity calls us to such means. It may be that we must close our eyes and cage our appreciation in order to maintain a loving heart to the other. But this isn’t purity. It is the necessity created by our impurity. Cauterized numbness is not the goal. But it is often the necessary remedy to the situations we find ourselves in.

There is a story told of two bishops who came across a nearly naked prostitute. Immediately one of the bishops cast his eyes to the ground, away from the provocatively revealed body of the young woman. The other bishop, St. Nonnus of Edessa, watched intently as she passed. “Look away” the first demanded. St. Nonnus replied with tears, “How terrible that such beauty is being sold to men’s lust.”

Which of the two responded with the purest heart? The first was certainly right in looking away. He knew his own heart. He knew that he would regard her in an unloving way if he were to gaze at her. But it was the delighted, loving attention of the second man that the young prostitute noticed. She was later converted by his instruction. God used the door of the second man’s pure admiration to give new life to the one who would eventually be known as St. Pelagia. St. Nonnus looked and saw not a sexual morsel for his consumption, but the precious person herself, and through her the God whose great pleasure was in creating her just so.

To be able to look with the Creator’s own loving enchantment and joy at the attractive body of another is the true standard of purity. This is how human beings were intended to function. It is the way it once was. Purity is not an issue of disinterest, rather it is an issue of…well, purity.

Very few have been given the grace that St. Nonnus was given. And to return to our previous picture, it is much better to avoid the flood altogether or to cage the fierce lion than to be destroyed by their uncontrolled power. But that precaution, that negation, isn’t purity itself. Rather, it reveals a wise and praiseworthy desire to keep our own impurity at bay.

Shackling ourselves points to our own impurity- not purity. Does that make sense?

I can hear you asking “So you’re saying that a person who is pure in heart would not only notice the sexually attractive aspects of another person, but also enjoy and glory in them- all without sin?”

Yeah, that’s what I mean.

“Riggghhhtt!”

No, I really believe it to be true. That’s why St. Paul said to the pure, all things are pure, but to those who are corrupted and do not believe, nothing is pure[ii].

Otherwise, think for a moment what must be true: mankind- both fallen and redeemed- are inevitably motivated and controlled by sin. The gospel declaration that Jesus, the crucified and risen Christ, is Lord is simply not true. Rather Mars, Mammon and Aphrodite sit on the world’s throne. Their prophets- Nietsche, Marx and Freud[iii]- were right: ultimately all of life is about power, wealth or pleasure. The selfish quest for one of these three always and inevitably directs the actions of every man, woman and child.

Is that our belief?

If Christ is Lord, and if he has given his own Spirit of Life for the empowerment of his people to live a truly glorious human life, then we cannot say that lust or greed or any other evil inevitably lies behind any of the responses, feelings or appreciations God, himself, designed for us to have. There is such a thing as being led by the Spirit. And this reaches to every area of our lives- including our sexuality.

Part of the difficulty in believing that a holy sexual appreciation of an attractive person is even possible is that we are using a faulty standard.

One way we bend and warp the yardstick is by equating sexual attraction itself with sin. We’ll talk a lot more about this later, but for now you know what I mean- only your husband or wife is noticed…at all. No other hotties exist…anywhere. “Real” purity turns that sensor off; but if you do notice, the attractiveness certainly isn’t supposed to make your heart glad; but…. if you do find yourself with a glad heart, well…it’s best not to let anyone know. It’s simple enough; but I hope you see that simple or not, this view is wrong. Helping you see this has been one of the main reasons I’ve written for you.

Writer Christopher West tells of being in the middle of a worship service when a very attractive lady, sitting a few pews ahead of him, flipped her hair over her shoulder. There was something in the movement that combined with her beauty in an almost intoxicatingly thrilling way. His mind had been focused in worship and it spontaneously lifted this experience heavenward. “Wow! What was that, Lord?” Somehow his sharing of his admiration with the Father caused him to see in this woman the dazzling glory of all women and the creation they ritually embody. She showed him the enticement of entering the gates of the heavenly Jerusalem- and the bliss that awaits God’s people.

What had he done? He had blessed this clearly sexual attraction. He found God’s love in it by offering it back to God.

While this might seem an unlikely way to respond to a sexually attractive person, we must remember that in the beginning it was not so. There simply wasn’t another option, apart from the reality denying posture of sin. The purpose of reality hasn’t changed. And in Christ creation is what it was intended to be. Our King has died, risen, and sent the Lord and Giver of Life to make all things new. But the fact that this seems so unlikely takes us to the next point.

Apart from a faulty standard, perhaps the main problem in admitting the possibility of a godly appreciation of another’s sexuality is an awareness of our own sinfulness in this area.

What are we to do with that? Let’s look and see.


[i] I Corinthians 6:18
[ii] Titus 1:15
[iii] These three men have been called the Masters of Suspicion because they taught that all men and women are controlled by a desire for power, wealth or pleasure. From the viewpoint of our Faith each of these men denied the possibility of an unselfish and loving motive. They denied the possibility of Godlike love- agape. They claimed they could see into the hearts of all men; and they saw only selfishness there.


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